- The love you feel for your newborn will be the strongest emotion you have ever felt
- The lack of sleep there after will be the strongest tiredness you have ever felt.
- Eating your dinner whist breast feeding will become the norm (*piece of cake*)
- You will know all the words to the starting song/theme tune of EVERY Cbebbies programme – which at some point you will find yourself (without child) singing in Sainsburys
- Ditto find yourself watching an entire Cbeebies programme (also childless)
- You will defecate with an audience at least once.
- You will break all YOUR OWN “When I have a child……..”rules” (For example -no chocolate/no telly/no sugar before the age of 14 – no Mc Donalds/no iPad usage/no toy guns/no Barbie etc etc etc etc
- On a Friday night your ‘fun-lovin’ self will get binned and your “don’t get too pi**ed voice” will be become paramount….mainly because of the point below
- You will never get a ‘lay-in’ again (until I guess they clear off university) and No it doesn’t matter if you are hungover – The swimming lessons still commence at 9am!
- They will have a better social diary than you – you will know this as your entire week and weekend will be spent driving them to places.
- Toddler tantrums don’t stop when they stop being toddlers
- You will sound like your mum
- It will take you a year to finish a book
- You will never ‘get – on – top’ of the ironing
- Children’s party’s are as irritating as you thought they would be – and you will learn to be selective – (IE only go to the ones that serve wine)
- You will become HATEFUL of balloons and HATE that they are given out at every (irritating) children’s party to bring home (You will automatically pop them before you get in the car)
- You will eat leftover fishfingers
- You will get used to sharing a bath with (At least) one Star wars figure or Barbie
- You will have to accept that their bedrooms will always be a mess
- Your house for a while will be a littered with brightly coloured plastic stuff – which you will hoover up and stand on
- Your walls at some point will be attacked by crayola and felt pens
- you will want a ‘break’
- But you will love them with all your heart!!! :0)
- And not be able to imagine life without them – even though they drive you nuts occasionally /oftern
(The list so far)